


"Sorry"

by maddylime



Category: Be More Chill - Iconis/Tracz
Genre: Apologies, Cute, First Kiss, Fluff, Friends to Lovers, Gay, Getting Together, Jeremy Regrets Everything, Love Confessions, M/M, Pining Jeremy Heere, Swearing, christine is only mentioned but like she's cool, i think they're both sad, jeremy is soft and sad, like theres swears in here cuz im edgy, michael is epic and sad, this is also the first fanfiction ive written on here uh, this is the first be more chill fanfiction ive written uh
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-30
Updated: 2019-05-30
Packaged: 2020-03-29 15:03:51
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,595
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19022341
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/maddylime/pseuds/maddylime
Summary: Jeremy and Michael haven't been as close since the squip.But Jeremy misses him.Probably more than Michael knows.





	"Sorry"

**Author's Note:**

> so uh hi this is the first be more chill fanfiction i've ever written and im not really that proud of it but! i dont think its bad! haha anyway enjoy

Jeremy fucked up. He knows he did. Michael was his best friend for twelve years, and he left him for a stupid fucking computer.  


Sure, they’re still friends and all, but they’re not nearly as close as they used to be. And how could they be? Jeremy was an asshole. The squip wasn’t even working when he called Michael a “loser”. That was _him_. _He_ made the choice to lash out at his best friend. Even after the squip, he spent more time with Christine than anything. He was afraid to confront his mistakes so their friendship started to fade into the background. Michael started to find other friends, better friends, over the internet.  


Wow. The internet had better friends than Jeremy.  


And it hurt. They used to be best friends. They told each other everything. They always hung out. _All the time_. It was a player one and player two situation, that’s how it was always supposed to be. But they haven’t spoken in days. But Jeremy doesn’t want to be the first to reach out, he doesn’t deserve to be.  


But he has to tell Michael something. Something Michael’s gonna hate him for. Something that will guarantee the end of their friendship. Something that he probably shouldn’t say.  


And he’s been trying for weeks to figure out how to phrase it but he has no idea how to. He asks Christine and Christine tells him to “say what he really feels” with “no filter” but he can’t just do that!....Can he? No! He can’t! That’s stupid. And besides, Jeremy needs to tell Michael a lot of things, and if he handles it wrong, it will end up in a huge disaster and will finalize the end of their friendship.  


So Jeremy just sits on his bed, trying to sort through his thoughts.  


Thought #1: He needs to tell Michael that he and Christine broke up. Of course, he’s still friends with Christine and it wasn’t a terrible breakup or anything. In fact, Christine's the one who’s been telling Jeremy to talk to Michael and have an actual good conversation for weeks!  


Thought #2: He needs to tell Michael why they broke up. This is the part Jeremy has been dreading since he figured it out. When he was with Christine, he couldn't stop thinking about Micheal. There was this hole in his chest and, no offense to Christine, but she wasn’t filling it. He found himself reading their texts over and over again, remembering how it used to be. Then, he started thinking what it could be, and all of a sudden he was hit with a realization. He likes Michael. He _like_ likes Michael. How did he tell Christine? He blurted it out after school the next day. Not his finest moment, but luckily Christine understood and was actually going to break up with him, because they’re better as friends. So yeah. _Not_ his finest moment.  


Thought #3: He needs to tell Michael that he’s sorry and he’s _truly_ sorry, not just like “sorry,” but like “dude I fucked up and I need you back in my life”. He needs to say that he misses him, that he misses their conversations and his humor and his hoodie(that he would most definitely like to wear one day). He misses how close they were, how good at gaming they were together, how would they yell at the screen at the same time. He wants- no, he needs his best friend back.  


But where does he start?  


Jeremy pulls out his phone. It could start with a text. He stares at his phone. He opens their texts. Ok, good start. But what does he say?  


_I’m sorry_  


No, that’s stupid. He already said that, and it won’t mean anything now. Christine told him to just type out his feelings with no filter and send it… But that’s a stupid idea! Why should he do that? He’s just gonna get himself in trouble. Jeremy sighed. Well, what else is he gonna do? So he starts typing and he doesn’t stop until there’s a huge paragraph in front of him.  


_Hey Michael! So um I’m really sorry like really sorry. We haven’t been talking lately, ever since I called you a loser and also that whole thing with me blocking you out and I know i already apologized but I miss you and christine and i broke up and i wanted to talk to you about it but i couldn't because we’re not that close anymore and plus i like you in like a totally gay way_

Jeremy starred on his run on sentence filled with barely any punctuation and a lot of nervous energy. This wasn’t going to work. He threw his phone on his bed and flopped down with it. He missed Michael. He was the best part of his day and now he’s drifted away because of a stupid fucking selfish decision that Jeremy should’ve never made.  


He was starting to go down his shame spiral when his phone buzzed. He reached for it and his eyes widened when he saw it was Michael.  


_Can I come over?_  


He clicked on the text hurriedly and hoped what he thought wasn’t true but...oh. Oh no. Oh NO. OH NO. His whole paragraph stares at him, mocking him. It must’ve sent when he threw his phone. Oh no. Of course, he’s gonna let Michael come over but what in the actual fuck is he gonna say once he gets there? He types back.  


_Yea_  


That’s nonchalant enough, right? Oh God. Oh no. Great. He should’ve just said “sorry” like he has been and left it alone. But he didn’t. He let his emotions get the better of him. The squip would be so disappointed.  


Wait. Fuck the squip. The squip’s the reason Michael is so far away in the first place! Ugh, he wished he could sort out his head. Maybe talk to Michael about all this, but Michael isn’t going to help now that he revealed his very gay crush on him.  


Jeremy laid there on his bed, regretting his whole existence, when the doorbell rang. He secretly hoped it was his dad coming back from the store but when he reached the door, he knew it wasn’t.  


Jeremy took a breath and opened the door. There stood Michael. He was wearing his famous hoodie. The hoodie Jeremy couldn’t stop thinking about.  


“I’m sorry. About everything.” Jeremy stuttered out.  


“Dude, it’s fine. The only reason I haven’t been talking to you as much is because I thought you were busy with Christine” Michael reassured. Well, that was a relief. But it still made Jeremy feel worse, thinking about how Michael was just being a good friend while Jeremy clearly wasn’t.  


“Well, we broke up so..” Jeremy nervously laughed.  


“Yeah, you mentioned that.” Michael smiled. Ok,it was going great. But Jeremy still felt like he needed to say more. He already messed up, so I guess he could just, keep going? Jeremy sighed, knowing Michael deserved a full apology.  


“Seriously though, I’m really sorry. I’m a shitty friend, I left you alone even after the squip, I-I just didn’t know how to deal with it. You were my best friend and I threw it all away! I-I don’t know how to say I’m sorry but I really am and I-I just d-don’t want to not be close to you anymore and-” Jeremy noticed he was rambling. He stopped to look at Michael’s reaction.  


“It hurt, you know? Being alone, having no one to talk to. I thought everything would be back to normal but it wasn’t.” Michael sighed, and looked around as if he was deciding what to say next. “But I know you. A-And I love you. You always mean well even though you mess it up sometimes….You’re a good person, Jeremy” Michael looked into his eyes. Jeremy couldn’t believe what he was hearing. He didn’t deserve forgiveness, nevermind being called a “good person”. He couldn’t have been a good person after what he did. But Michael thought he was, and that’s all that mattered to him in this moment.  


They stared at each other in silence for what felt like forever. They both knew the words that weren’t being said, they both knew what they wanted to do. Jeremy was too nervous to move, so he stood in place until Michael leaned forward and kissed him softly. The butterflies were released through both of their hearts as Jeremy kissed back. The kiss was soft, but slowly gained passion, with Jeremy’s hands in Michael’s hair and Michael’s hands placed on Jeremy’s waist. They both had no idea what to say after this so they kept kissing, hoping their actions spoke louder than words.  
Eventually, they parted. They both smiled and almost laughed from the joy they were feeling.  


“So, I uh guess Rich was right. About the boyfriends thing” Jeremy joked.  


“I just can’t believe how long it took you to figure it out” Michael laughed.  


“ _What?_ ” Jeremy questioned. Figure what out? His thoughts immediately went to the best case scenario: that Michael had a crush on him. But that’s too good to be true, right?  


“Dude, I’ve had a crush on you for years!” Michael explained. Jeremy’s heart went fuzzy. Years? He could’ve had this boy for years and he never knew? He felt his cheeks getting hot. “Uh,Jeremy? Are you like, zoning out?” Michael hesitated.  


“Just shut up and kiss me again” Jeremy demanded. Michael happily obliged.

**Author's Note:**

> !!!!!and there it is  
> if you wanna leave feedback that would be pretty epic  
> k bye


End file.
